Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
