I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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