it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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