I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
