i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
