to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
