He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
