Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
