Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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