So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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