i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
