just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
