I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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