k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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