she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
