Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
