My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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