I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
