I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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