well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
