I cockslap morals
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
