Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
