I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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