Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Randomize
