So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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