i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
