Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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