We won't sleep together?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
