Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
