you guys were way drunker than both of me
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
