I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
