I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
