I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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