Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
