It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
