would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
