I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
