member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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