Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
