What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
