Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
