Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
