i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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