Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
