Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I touched a dick in church today
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
