singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
