I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
