You don't have asthma, your pregnant
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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