And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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