i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And then my night got REAL pukey
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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