honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
