You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
