I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
