i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
