thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
