he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
