but the lizard people decide everything anyway
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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