I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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