your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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