He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
